Today I got up, tripped over a lone shoe on the floor and crashed head first into the wardrobe. I gave up on breakfast after I poured my tea all over the muesli instead of milk, then went downstairs to the laundry to find I’d accidentally dyed all my clothes a nice shade of turquoise (which just about covered the violet from the last washing machine incident).

Heading into town, I dropped 65 one-cent pieces as I was counting them out for the bus driver, then forgot to validate my ticket and had to talk my way out of a 40 euro fine by pleading fignorance (foreign + just plain ignorant).

Next I waited out the front of the bank for 20 minutes for Lozz, tapping my foot impatiently, before remembering it was the coffeeshop I was supposed to meet her out the front of. It started pouring as I made my way there so I spent three blocks reaching around on my back like a wayward nutter for the hood of my jacket (which I’d zipped off that morning), then tried to take refuge by ducking into a department store and crashing headfirst into the sliding glass doors.

Home at last this evening, I started preparing dinner of eggs and rice for the girls before remembering I’d been delegated the crucial task of buying the eggs and rice. So off to a restaurant we went, where I managed to ask for foreplay (vorspielen) instead of an entree (vorspeisen).

Back home, I successfully emptied the contents of a red wine bottle on my doona cover, bade farewell to the girls and promptly fell asleep with my hair in a gooey tub of brie that had somehow made its way onto my pillow.