Still near Konstanz, southern Germany. We’re heading to a monkey farm to feed the little critters popcorn and break our new boots in with monkey doo.

Too late, we’re told that there are no buses there but instead a rather delightful little stroll through the woods.

Inside the forest it is damp and cold and so misty we can barely see our hands, let alone each other. Every so often we happen upon a signpost pointing to ‘Affenberg (’monkey mountain’), 1.5km’ - then twenty minutes later stumble across another saying ‘Affenberg: 4.8km’. It’s like the enchanted forest, only with murderers and lunatics instead of happy bunnies with rays of sunshine in their picnic baskets.

Lozz picks this particular moment to start dissecting the plot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, while Laura starts assessing her potential weapons: ‘Let’s see, what have I got here….a fork! I could totally gauge their eyes out with that!’ Eventually we come across the world’s biggest cornfield and spend half an hour picking our way through three-metre high stalks.

At the monkey farm at last, Lozz is attacked. Well, not ‘attacked’ so much as ’suddenly embraced’ by a cute little chimp, but her shrieks frighten the poor critter so much he leaves a nervous little number two on her jacket.

Shortly thereafter, we call a taxi and wait at the entrance for forty minutes before realising there are two entrances, and guess which one the taxi went to? So after a short taxi ride, a bus, a ferry and another bus, we get back into town, duck into the supermarket for some dinner, and rush back out just in time to miss the last bus home.