Next German mission. We’re heading for Meersburg, a town near Lake Constance which boasts the oldest castle in Germany. Then to castle #2, Schloss Salem, which is now a posh boarding school for the über rich and snotty.

The day starts as mine generally do - with massive public transport woes. We manage to get the two buses and a ferry across to Meersburg without a hitch, and probably would have found ourselves well impressed with the castle there if only we could see it through the mist.

Then we stand in the rain for an hour and watch three buses pass us by - the first so full of school kids we couldn’t possibly squeeze ourselves on, the second we forgot to signal the driver, and the third we evidently didn’t signal the driver ‘properly’.

Finally we find a dubious bus driver who promises to drop us off ‘nearby’ - ie. a two km uphill hike to the castle/school while daddy’s little 16 year-old princesses zip past us in pink alfa romeos.

There we are royally jipped by having to pay €7 to get into the castle grounds, where we promptly get lost in the hedge maze, then discover that not only are the castle and cathedral shut to visitors as of October, but also that there are dozens of unmanned side entrances to the grounds that we could have snuck in through for free.

Bah.