There is one thing I came to Australia for. Family? Neh. Christmas? Herm. No, it was hamburgers.

Near my folks’ place, in Vincentia on Jervis Bay, is the best hamburger shop in the world. Granted, normally when people say such like I ask them if they’ve really been to every one of them in the world. But when it comes to hamburgers – like my international quest for cheesecake – I believe I’ve taken a pretty good shot at it.

For a negligible $2.80 you can pick up a thick and juicy rissole dripping in beetroot juice and a slice of pineapple – cos you’re not a real Aussie if that combo leaves you squeamish – and that’s AU$2.80, which is less than a buck fifty in euros.

Anyway, today we drove to Vincentia specifically for this purpose. We parked out on the street and were salivating by the time we shoved our way through the supermarket, along the arcade, down the mall to the corner…

…where the best hamburger shop in the world had once stood. Now it was a dark, blacked out, empty shop front. Not technically boarded up but it may as well have been.

It was a travesty. We had to go across the carpark to the new, boutique takeaway, where coffee goes for $5 and hamburgers for a cool $8.50 a pop (just over four euros). Sure, you might be thinking just over four euros would be a pretty sweet deal in London or Europe. But it’s a whopping outrage in regional Australia).

Like I said. It’s a travesty.