An Aussie mate of mine who also studied in Germany recently sent this one through: a compilation she’d made for one of our cultural assignments of all the things people say and think about Australia.

‘Do you know the Crocodile Hunter?’
‘Can you do a Crocodile Hunter impersonation?’
‘Are the Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Dundee the same person…or at least related then?’
‘Is it true that all Australians can surf?’
- followed by (absolutely incredulous) ‘You CAN’T surf?’
‘Do you have frozen pizzas in Australia?’ (no, we just hunt and gather!)
‘They can’t be your country’s sporting colours’ (referring to a green and gold beach towel)…’You must be getting yourself mixed up with Brazil.’
‘Why do you speak English with the other Australian girls here – why don’t you just speak your mother-tongue (i.e. Australian)?’
‘Your English is VERY good for a non-native speaker’ (yes, from an American)
‘Say ‘Crikey’
‘Say ‘Bugger’
‘Say something Australian!’
(In a low conspiratorial whisper) ‘I’ve heard that people don’t actually drink Fosters in Australia…can this be true?’
‘So where is Australia exactly?’
‘I’ve only met 3 Australians before and it has made me wonder, is alcohol abuse a big problem in your country?’
‘I do not think that I have understood you…you are baking ANZAC biscuits to commemorate a battle that you LOST?’
‘What do you mean there are only 22 million people in Australia? Is that counting EVERYONE?’
‘Why doesn’t Australia have an entry in this year’s Euro Vision Song Contest?’ (Another American.)