Now, oddly enough, the Germans are my most favourite people in the whole world, so on account of that it’s okay for me to pick on them from time to time.

Let’s start with the whole eating-meat-at-breakfast thing. Sure, I’ll admit – I’ve never been one to shy away from a solid bacon fry-up, especially on a hangover. But the leberwurst – yes, that’s liver sausage – and brie combo that I’ve seen done on breakfast rolls here is just appalling.

Secondly: fizzy water. And yes, I admit – I had been warned. Many a friend had come back from Europe, and Germany in particular, lamenting the lack of regular water. Two of my early discoveries in the country were that 1) it’s nigh impossible to locate still water in Germany; and 2) if you shake a bottle of mineral water it certainly does explode in your face when you open it.

It took a full three weeks of living in Konstanz before we discovered an untapped resource of still water (ie. a dodgy little store round the back of the train station in town) and we were thrilled to bits with our new discovery. Odd how the most boring beverage back home is elevated to the highest pedestal when not easily accessible.
On another water-related note – and this is for the girls out there – do take careful note: German rain does not, in fact, make your hair go frizzy (this is very important and something that women the world over should be made aware of).